Prakriti

Journal Entry #1 (First marking period )

I just finished the first marking period section of the book. So far the book is extremely interesting but it is different than any book that I have ever read before.  It is about a girl named Melinda who feels like an outcast and gets bullied a lot because of something she did at a party during the summer.  Since it is a first person narrative, the book is written through Melinda’s point of view. This book so far is also very frustrating to read because there are times in the book where Melinda is misunderstood or bullied but she does not say anything or do anything about it. She thinks it will all just go away and eventually solve itself. For example in page 8, someone throws food at her, so she runs out the cafeteria. A teacher named Mr. Neck catches her in the hallway without a pass. Instead of explaining what happened to her, she does not say anything. In the book she thinks, “It is easier not to say anything. Shut your trap; button your lip, can it”.  So he instead thinks she is skipping and gives her a demerit for wandering the halls without a pass.  It just makes me really sad that she does not stand up for herself when she is mistreated; instead she just feels bad for herself and does nothing about it. In page 21 she says, “I have been dropped like a hot Pop Tart on a cold kitchen floor”.  And the sad part about this is that no one knows or cares how she is actually feeling, not even her parents. The worst part is she has learnt how to act so people won’t know the things that she is going through. At one point in the book she says, “I am getting better at smiling when people expect it”.  This all makes me wonder if there is someone at my school who is going through all them and whom I pass by every single day.

Journal Entry #2 (Second marking period)

The mood of the book is very sad and gloomy. I think this is because the main character who is Melinda is very depressed and she really wants someone to help her but she does not know how to ask for help. She is lonely and has no real friends. The one friend that she has does not come and help her when she needs it and instead just asks for her help. She has a secret and it is destroying her. We do not know what the secret is at this point but we know it has something to do with Andy Evans whom she calls IT.  Every time Andy comes close to her or even when she thinks about him, she faints, has a panic attack or vomits. So Andy must have done something to her. One of her attempt at asking for help was cutting herself, when her mom sees this; she just says she doesn't have time for this. I think it is extremely sad that her parents yell at her because she is not doing well at school and yet they don’t care to find out why she is not doing well at school. There are few parts where the atmosphere in the story is positive and hopeful. One of them is when Melinda’s lab partner David stands up to the teacher and she says that David is her “hero”.  I think this part was inspirational to Melinda because she wants to stand up just like David but she can’t. Prior to this part, the book was very frustrating to read, because she was never speaking up for herself and her life was just getting worst and worst. But when she mentioned that David was her hero, it kind of gave me hope that she might speak up for herself.

Journal Entry #3 (Third marking period) 

Finally, we find out about the big secret. Andy raped her at the summer party after which she called 911. Since no one knows that she got raped, everyone hates her for calling the cops. In this marking period the message that the author is trying to convey is very clear.  I think the author is trying to say that if there is anything that is hurting you in the inside speak up, tell someone or else it will ruin you. Until you decide to help yourself, no one will be able to help you. Face your fears.  The marking period starts off with Melinda thinking that maybe she should just tell someone, on page 99 she says, “I should probably tell someone, just tell someone. Get it over with. Let it out, blurt it out.” And then when Mr Freeman was driving her to the mall, she tells him that doesn’t feel anything but then quickly covers her mouth. This shows that she is scared of telling someone. Then when she is sitting on her rooftop, she has a flashback of the party and everything that happened that day. This is the first time in the book where she can finally recall the whole incident. She is starting to face her fears.  There is a section where she decides to buy jeans that fit her, instead of loose jeans. She has decided to change, to help herself. As teenagers, we all have insecurities and problems. When we tell someone about it, even if they just listen we feel the weight lifted off our shoulders. We cannot let the past ruin our future for whatever happened has already happened and no one change that. We can either dwell on the past and let it control us or we can be proactive about it and move on.   

Journal Entry #4 (Fourth marking period) 

This marking period was probably the most interesting and the most exciting to read. It has the climax and the solution of the story. Melinda finally stands up for herself and gets over her past. At this time I felt like standing up and dancing because I was so happy that she finally moved on.  The title of the book was very relevant to the book. Speak; a simple word but very powerful. That is exactly what the book was about; a girl learning to speak up. Every teen can relate to this book because maybe not as extreme but all of us do go through bad times in high school. Like the part where she says her bed is sending serious nap rays or the part where she mentions the ten lies of high school. All of us want to fit in, no one wants to be the girl who sits alone in the cafeteria and this causes a lot of problems. This book really has taught me a lot about Life. It has taught me to accept myself including my flaws. Because when we accept our flaws, we can use them as our strengths and they won’t hold us back but most of all this book has taught me to speak up for myself. It reminds me of a movie called “it’s kind of a funny story”. This movie is about a guy who checks himself in a mental hospital because he is depressed. The story is about him discovering himself. Like in the book Speak, he also discovers that he loves drawing and is really good at it. At the end of the book, he decides to do what he wants instead of what his friends or his parents want. And along the way, he helps a lot of people get what they want.  And he finds himself happier than he has ever been before.